Too Good?

Well...it's about 6 in the morning. I got a lot of sleep the night before and slept a lot today during the day so I wasn't tired at all tonight so I've just been messin around and haven't gone to sleep. I was just lying in my bed, though, trying to get a little nap in before my 8 o'clock class (yessss, haha), and I had this kind of profound thought:

So, this week has been pretty good for me. Everything has worked out pretty well and just lots of little good things have happened that has made it one of my best weeks in a long time. It's actually weird, because I was thinking earlier tonight that it felt really weird for things to be going so well. I'm just so used to struggling with something in my head or with something tangible. To be honest, I'm not really used to not having to deal with something/be worried about something. It's just been a long year, I guess. But the profound thought was this-I almost felt like I wanted something to happen that I would have to deal with. Not that I want any pain or anything like that. I was afraid that something bad was going to happen that would take me off this "high" that this week has put me on. I almost just wanted it to happen so I could relax and not worry about it. Also, you know how when things are going great you think you're fine on your own, you don't need God's help or anybody else's help, and that everything is just going to happen the way you want it to? Well, I wasn't at that point, but I was really afraid of getting to that point. Because you start to get that way without even knowing it, and then BAM!, something happens that knocks you back to your senses and makes you realize that you're not fine on your own. I'd rather not have to have that shocking and painful realization. I'd rather just be put in my place now and be pretty content with the fact that even if there are things going on that I have to deal with, life is great because God is helping me with my burdens. I want my joy to be centered in the true source of all joy and happiness-God, and not my false complacency that comes from a "good week".

So, tonight, something disappointing did happen. I think I'm kind of relieved. But it wasn't something all that bad. The conclusion of the whole thing was actually very good and I'm happy with it because I know that this situation will turn out for the best for right now and I'm very happy with what I have in this situation. But the fact is, my hopes did get let down a little and it did hurt a little bit. Just a little. But the point of this is that finally something happened that I didn't necessarily want to happen. What I would have "wished" for didn't come true. But, even though it was a little disappointing at first, I am confident that this is what God wants for now and that's it's so much better for me, among other people, for right now. I'm glad that everything doesn't work out the way I want it to at first, because God has soo much more in store for me...and you.

That was just a weird conclusion I came to and I just found it kinda interesting. I don't know if all my thoughts about that are necessarily right, and it's not like I want to be sad. Because I don't at all. I think more than anything, I just want to be sure that my joy is found in God, not the unstable things of this world.

Deuce off the roof!
Kerplunk.