Life...

I just found out tonight that one of my friends from high school died last week. She took her own life. Honestly, I don't think we had talked since high school, but she was a student council officer with me, so we saw each other pretty much every day for a year, and went on trips together and all that. It's just really weird to me...I've never had anyone that I saw on a regular basis at one point in my life die. It just kind of puts things in perspective. I was reading her facebook wall, and all the things that people had said on there after she died. Things like "I wish I would've gotten to know you better" or "I wish I would've known you were struggling"...just kind of changes your view of things. It just made me realize more that people we love could be here one day and gone the next. I always know that in the back of my head, but this kind of just made it more real to me. It's really sad. I just feel really sad for her family and close friends. I can't imagine how her parents and siblings feel to have someone so close to them taken so unexpectedly. It makes me think about the reality of heaven and hell too. I just don't want anyone to have to suffer being in hell for eternity. It is not just some made up thing. I'm not saying Jill is not in heaven. I have no idea where her heart was. I just hope that this girl I knew is with Jesus. I really do. I have a lot of doubts sometimes...I don't want those anymore. This has made me realize that I need to stop letting doubts about salvation and God get the best of me. I always think about some quote I heard about once. This is probably a really rough paraphrase, but it was from a guy who was an atheist. He said something to the effect of "If I believed what Christians claim about salvation, I would crawl on broken glass throughout the world to tell those who didn't have it." Basically...the message of salvation that Jesus brought is so amazing, such salvation from eternity in hell and damnation, and instead such love, grace, and abundant, eternal life. And it really is. I guess Paul understood that fully. He didn't let anything stop him from spreading that amazing news. I wonder what it is that keeps us as Christians from literally crawling on broken glass to tell everybody about the salvation that God offers us. Sure, sometimes the best way to tell this to someone is just to show them love, because they're tired of hearing about it. But, are we just lazy sometimes? Maybe just complacent? Do we really believe in the salvation we claim we have? I know I'm guilty of all of those things. I just don't want to be missing out on something that I should be doing right now. If there's anything holding me back, I want it taken off. I always think about when something bad like Jill's death happens, that God is using it for something for His glory. That maybe He is saving lives through that, or opening people's eyes, or doing something...some eternal work. Well, I know that just in me, Jill's death has opened up my eyes to these things, and I hope it changes me beyond just words.