Missing People Right About Now

I'm at work...and I was bored. I haven't been on the computer really since I was at college so I decided to read Sean's blog cuz I hadn't read it in a while. Reading his blog always makes me think, to ponder things. I feel like I always understand exactly what he is saying though, and I agree with him most of the time. I dunno, I miss people. I wish I could be in a room filled with all my friends right now and just talk to them and hang out. But I get to go to Houston tomorrow and see everyone. It will be really fun. I'll update more later. I've just been taking a break from the computer because I needed to. It has been refreshing to not be on the computer lately.

Well, I have to go work now. I actually have something to do. Yahoo for making money.

While I was thinking about it...and listening to Relient K...

The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.

Just, Random Stuff

I think this blog post is more for me than anything else. Like how people write in diaries, no one reads it, but they still write all this stuff anyway. It's good to write your thoughts down, that way they don't stay trapped in your head. I'm just gonna say whatever's on my mind. I guess that's how all blog posts should be, though, right?

Sean stayed over at my dorm last night. He told his roommate he would find somewhere else to stay because his roommate had people over and Sean is a nice guy like that. It was pretty fun, we just chilled and Sean messed up my room, the usual. I actually played Socom all night. I had a craving for it and just couldn't resist. It was really fun. For those of you that don't know, Socom is this Playstation 2 game I like a lot, because it's this shooter game where you are a U.S. Navy Seal, and the part that is addicting is that you can play it online with thousands of other people. Which is what I did all last night. I played really well last night. I went to this "Pistols Only" room and was dominating. I'm good in the video game, I bet I could be a good Navy Seal. I mean, it doesn't look that hard. Haha. Only kidding.

Wow, I just opened up my blinds and all I see is clear blue sky. Which reminds me, I haven't been outside yet today. And that reminds me that I didn't go to church this morning. I'll just admit it; I've barely gone to church this semester. I feel really guilty about it, and I know I'm missing out on a lot of stuff that I need by not going. I guess I've fallen short in a lot of areas this semester...I'm looking forward to going to church back in Dallas. And next semester. I'm going to start going to church regularly. Because I don't like not going to church...and I don't think God is too fond about it either.

I have a sociology final in less than 24 hours. But I don't feel like studying. I need to, though. I would rather just be outside, though. Doing something, with somebody. I don't know what my deal is. All my life, I've been a "loner". I've always enjoyed being alone and have never had a problem with being by myself. But, this past year, I just love being with people. I always want to be with people, hanging out with someone, talking, walking, eating with someone...and I get really lonely when I'm by myself. I mean, sure, it sounds fine, wanting to be with people. But I never used to feel like this. I never used to feel so vulnerable to loneliness. It's kind of weird, and not fun at times. And it makes me want a girlfriend more, just to be honest. I never like being in a state of "wanting a girlfriend", but sometimes I just wish I had someone to be close to and all those great things that come along with having one. But, I know that at the right time, God will bring the right person along. So I'm not worried about it really. I just sometimes wish I had that someone now. I know that God will help me with the whole "loneliness" thing if I just ask him. I probably just haven't really given that to him. Like everything else. You'd think it was easy to just hand something over to God, to surrender it to him. But I find I'm very bad at consistently doing that.

Last night, after playing Socom, I was watching a tiny bit of TV before I fell asleep. Being a Sunday morning, I found Lakewood Church on TV and was listening to Joel Osteen's sermon. I think God wanted me to listen to that. He said this verse that I thought was pretty cool. "But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hands." Psalm 31:14-15. I just thought that was cool. Our times are in his hands: what's going to happen and when it is going to happen. And he has a perfect plan for my life. That's what gets me through a lot of my days. I mean, to be honest, that's why I can live, because I know my times are in his hands. Without knowing that, I don't know if I could make it through life. Not that I have some really hard life, because I am very blessed. But we all need God. I know I do, and I don't think I could make it without him.

This paragraph is for someone who I hope is reading this blog post. If not, well, it will just be good for me to say it anyway. I'm sorry for ever hurting you. I know any wrongs are in the past and are forgiven, but it saddens me so much to know that you trusted me with your feelings and I let you down. I'm not a perfect person, and I do a lot of stupid stuff. I'm just sorry that some of my mistakes had to involve you, and hurt you so badly. You were the last person in the world I ever wanted to cause pain and hurt. I know I've said sorry before, more than once, it's just I realize new things every day. And I feel like I just realized something new again. And I needed to express how much it hurt me, to know I hurt you. I hate how we can't seem to understand each other about certain things. I hate feeling like things are unresolved, and when we can't seem to agree about something or understand each other, it feels like something unresolved to me. I know sometimes I just need to leave it unresolved for the moment and let things work out as they will. I'm okay with that. I have to be okay with that, I don't think I really have a choice. It still just bothers me to have a misunderstanding like this. I'm sorry for assuming so much. I just say the worst scenario in my head, hoping that you will say that's not true. I'm sorry I'm so flawed sometimes. I always tell myself I won't mess up again, and I will make upfor the mistakes I've made. But, I think I realize now that I will probably make more mistakes concerning you in the future. I hope you understand that I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry for sounding frustrated when we talk sometimes. It's just frustrating to feel like we don't understand each other. Whatever happens, I just want you to know that I care about you a lot, and I want the best for you. You deserve only the best. And I know you're in God's hands, so that's what you will get.

Well, I think I've emptied my brain. I guess that's the only way I can put it. I feel better, though. I just needed to say a lot of stuff. Just like the title of my bog, I have a lot of thoughts, and I needed to say them. Good thing I created this blog.

Enjoy your day.

Chapstick, Chapped Lips, & Things Like Chemistry

My new jeans are a little small on me. Now I have conflicting interests. I want to grow a little more because I need to be 6 feet tall, and males don't stop growing completely until they're 25, but if I grow, my jeans will be even smaller. Well, if I don't gain weight and obtain washboard abs, it will serve two purposes. My jeans will fit a little better, and I'll look like a stud.

Man, tonight feels weird. I think it has to do with the fact that everyone is studying, well, a lot of people are, and the semester is over in a few days. It's weird how in college, the end of the semester feels like the end of the year or something. Because I mean, most of us are going to be gone from school for over a month. It's almost like a mini summer. I think A&M has a really long Christmas Break, so it's more like a mini summer than other schools. This has been a really interesting semester, but then again, life always seems to be very interesting lately. I've learned so much, and met so many cool people. And when I say I've learned so much, I don't really mean academically. Hahahaha. That's kinda bad, but the fact that I didn't learn a whole lot academically has taught me a lot. Well, I've learned my lesson: That it's better to study a lot and not have as much of a social life, because if you don't study and just have a good social life, eventually it will catch up with you and you won't have a social life anymore either. For one, if you really slack off, you'll be kicked out of college. But, in my case, my parents are mad at me and I've been stuck in my room studying lately because I had too much of a social life earlier in the semester. Maybe it wasn't so much of having too much of a social life, but I guess I just had too much fun at the beginning. Whatever, next semester, I'm gonna own. I'm looking forward to the fresh start. I'm also looking forward to Christmas Break. Part of me is a little sad I won't see my friends for a while, because I'm gonna be in Dallas. Hopefully I can visit Houston for part of the break. But anyway, it's just going to be nice to be at home, in my own room, with my great family, and I'm really looking forward to having my pets there too. I think I'm going to walk my dog every day. It's stuff like that I miss. Just being able to go walk my dog while the sun is setting before dinner. The sunsets where I live are so great. It's so nice. I really miss being able to come downstairs from my room when I feel kind of lonely too and just watch TV with my parents or talk or play a board game or something. That's one thing I know I took for granted before college. Just always knowing that my parents are right there and knowing I can go spend time with them and talk with them whenever I want. I have really great parents! And I get to work when I go home and go to Prestonwood Baptist to church, which I'm looking forward to. It's a really great church and I enjoy working in the bookstore there. But, anyway, I guess this blog post is just a summary of stuff I've learned and thought about this semester. All my friends who read this, I just want to say that I'm so glad every one of you are my friends and I feel blessed to have all the great friends I do. And I hope everything is going well for you guys. Alright, well, I mean, it's not like I'm going to stop posting over Christmas Break. But this is just a semester-concluding post. Haha. I'm weird.

Fer shizzle.

Tired Am I

Hmmm...it's 5 o'clock in the morning. I'm at the SCC temporarily, printing something out. They said the printing delay was 10 minutes, so I have 10 minutes to blog. Well, as you probably concluded, I am pulling an all-nighter. I've stayed up all night at college already a couple of times, but I was playing video games all night. Tonight, I've actually been studying and doing schoolwork all night. So I would say this is my first real all-nighter. It's funny, because this all-nighter is actually probably partly a result of my other all-nighters where I played video games all night. So, that meant I didn't study at all that night, then I slept through my classes the next day. I learned my lesson, the hard way. I must say, it's harder than I thought, to stay up all night studying that is. I was so tempted to go to sleep, but that drive deep down inside of me said "Don't stop Kyle, push yourself, it will pay off later." Yeah, I have a physics test at 7:30, in the morning. I've been studying alll week for this test. That's why I haven't blogged since Sunday. Man, I'll be glad when this test is over, though. Then I just have one more on Monday and I'm goin home. Schweet, eh? Then I get to work for a month, which I'm looking forward to just because it will be nice to make money and I'm sure I'll enjoy working at my church again after being at college for a semester.

I went to this cool presentation about the Bethlehem Star tonight. It was really cool. The guy went into detail about all the signs and stuff the stars showed during Jesus' birth and death and all kinds of other cool stuff. If you don't believe the Bible is true, well, you should, because there's a lot of stuff backin it up.

Well, I think my schtuff printed. So I'm gonna go pick it up. I hope I do well on my final, eeeee...

Me so tired.

What the Deuce?

I just bought a ton of junk food with some outbounds down in the C-store. I have a bunch of outbounds that need to be used...haha, I've been buying Joel smoothies lately with my outbounds and it has made him very happy. He loves his smoothies. Our favorite is Strawberry Quake. It's so good. I think I had my best one on Friday night after a strenuous game of Ultimate Frisbee. It was quite refreshing. You know what else is refreshing...mini chocolate covered donuts. I just ate some of those, so good. I had to go "buy" dessert at the C-store because I went to eat at Sbisa tonight and they had the crappiest desserts ever. Sometimes Sbisa really disappoints me. Sometimes I'm really amazed by it, though. So it evens out. But I also thought I deserved a dessert because I ate a pretty healthy dinner, which included steamed carrots and an assortment of diced fruits. It's always a good feeling after you eat a healthy dinner, especially at college. Especially when you haven't eaten anything all day because you woke up at like 2 o'clock and you're really hungry. Ahhh, food. Gotta love it.

The guys that live across the hall from me are doing a "weekly poll" on their dry erase board on their door. This is the first weekly poll I've seen, but that's cool. Anyway, the question is "Ninjas or Pirates?". Haha. I put one tally down for ninjas, oh yeahhh. I figured I should put one down for Ninjas since I have a shirt that says "Fact: Ninjas Hate Pirates". It's such a baller shirt. I got it at randomshirts.com, you should check it out. Anyway, the Ninjas are winning. A lot of people have participated in this poll. Ninjas are cooler than pirates anyway. I mean, just think about it. Pirates just sail around on old wooden ships looking for booty. Haha, booty. And the booty they get, they don't even really earn. They just steal it from people, or kill people for it. And they aren't even very athletic or anything. They have hook arms and peg legs. Ninjas, on the other hand, are super cool. They're elusive, and can do flips and really cool looking things. They take down their victims before they even know anyone is there. Ninja vs. Pirate, the ninja would definitely win.

Now I'm eating Grape Sour Punch. It's a new flavor. I like it.

This weekend was so much fun. I just had so much fun hanging out with my friends. It's not like I did anything particularly amazing, just the fact that I got to hang out with friends, and laugh, and just have a good time was great. Yesterday, Sean, Harding, and I went to Home Depot and the Mall to get Christmas presents and stuff. We barely had to get anything, but we ended up spending so much time there looking around. Mainly because we found this AWESOME store called Rugged Outdoors. I'm telling you, if you're a guy and you live in College Station, go to Post Oak Mall and go to Rugged Outdoors. It is the coolest store ever. They had these huge swords and we took them out and were pretending we were in the Middle Ages and stuff. They have battle axes and knives and Medeival armor, haha. They have a whole wall full of airsoft guns. That's just some of the stuff they have. They have tasers too. Hahaha. Last time I went there one of the employees told me that if I tased myself I could get 25% off anything in the store. I didn't see anything I liked at the time, so I didn't do it. This time I found that same guy and asked him if they were still doing that, and he said they got in trouble, so they couldn't do it anymore. Funny stuff. I wonder if some guy tased himself and passed out or something. Yeah, so besides Rugged Outdoors, we saw a bunch of really cool carts with remote controlled hovercrafts and cool video games that you could play. It was fun stuff. Then, to conclude our mall experience, we ate at China Wok, which I must say isn't the best Chinese food ever. It wasn't horrible, but just not great. Well, we were sitting at a table eating and we noticed this girl sitting in Chick-Fil-A alone. Well, they noticed her actually because my back was to her, but I agreed that she was indeed cute. Sean decided that he was going to go talk to her. I didn't think he was actually gonna do it, but he ended up doing it and got her number and everything. What a baller. Harding and I were very impressed. I mean, it takes a lot of guts to do that if you ask me. Go Sean, you da man. Then, after the mall, we went over to Jennifer's where some other people were and we watched "It's A Wonderful Life". I had never seen that before, so that was cool. We did many other crazy things last night, but they are too hard to explain, and too many. WEeeeeeeeeee. Fun stuff.

I played ultimate frisbee today. It was really muddy. The muddiest field ever. Joel, Curtis, and I even had to cancel our post-game smoothie because we were too muddy to go inside. I had to put my shoes in the shower, which is kinda weird. But I don't have a hose, so what else am I supposed to do. There was mud all over them. Don't worry, though, I rinsed out the shower well. I am Mr. Clean.

Welp, looks like I've run out of things to say. But, this week, keep it real. You know, represent.

Awkward Sea Turtle??

I'm at Callaway right now...chillin with Allison MacMullen. She's really crazy, I'm tellin' ya. Her friend Chelsea is here too. We're watching the movie "While You Were Sleeping". Well, sort of watching it. I mean, I'm typing, so I'm kind of halfway watching it. It's my mom's favorite movie though, so I'm pretty familiar with already. It's so sappy. It's a pretty good movie, though. Not one of those sappy chick flicks that are really painful to sit through. Right now, Sandra Bullock is getting her mack on. What a player. I mean, her supposed fiance is in a coma, and she's trying to hook up with his brother. But, somehow, it's still sweet, or something.

Tonight was hecka fun. Hecka instead of hella. Is hella a bad word? I'm just playing it safe I guess. Me, Joel, Dan, and Curtis went to the beginning of the Battle of the Bands at the MSC, but we only got to see the first band and not Clairmont, the band we really wanted to see mostly, because we were going to see Anchorman at Rudder Theater at 9. But, the first band was pretty interesting, and I was tired from my labor playing ultimate frisbee today. I was all over the place, I'm tellin' ya. But, we're not talking about that, are we? So just drop it. Anchorman was really funny. Really really funny. Will Ferrell, you gotta love that guy. There was this other guy in that movie that was really funny though, too. Without him, the movie would only be a 6 out of 10. But with both of them, it is a 9 and a half.

So my cigar smoking last night went pretty well. I felt so old and mature. Hahahaha. I called my sister and brother in law, and my parents while I was smoking it because I wanted to tell them I was smoking my first cigar. Well, Chris(my brother in law) was the one who gave me them, so I wanted to tell him I was smoking it. Then I talked to my dad, and he wasn't too impressed that I was smoking a cigar. He said it's like "sucking on the end of a chimney". I eventually convinced him that smoking cigars is cool though. I got a little sick feeling afterwards, though, because I started smoking it really fast at the end because Kurt finished it a lot quicker than me so I felt rushed. And I smelled really badly of smoke. So, it was a good experience, but I don't know if that's going to be something I'll do much more of. I dunno. I got to see Hayley Hammons and Annika Holmgren last night too! It was really good to see them, and Jayce Radcliffe came to the Cambridge and we all sat in the hall and talked. Hayley told me that during Standleaders, her and someone else, I forgot who, would rate all the guy Standleaders butts. Apparently, Michael Gerrish was the winner. Pshh. Him and his bubble butt. Just kidding, I'm happy for him. Hayley said they thought pretty highly of mine, so I was satisfied with that. Haha.

Well, I should watch the movie now. After all, I could do this when I'm alone in my room. It's not every day that I can watch While You Were Sleeping with Allison MacMullen.

Oh, by the way. Sean Murphy randomly met this girl, Chelsea, that I mentioned before that is watching this movie with us. Anyway, they met because Sean called Allison to see if she wanted to go to Breakaway with him, and she said she wasn't going, but her friend Chelsea was, who Sean hadn't met. So she gave Sean her number and he called her and they went to Breakaway together. Haha, I thought that was really random and funny. Sean, you're a funny guy. By the way, Chelsea thinks Sean's blog is really funny. It really is very funny. Sean is the most witty person I think I've ever met, and I mean that. You should read his blog. It is insightful and comical. Anyway, enough about Sean.

Woot.

Word To That

It's about time I started being happy with where I am, because that's where God wants me to be. And that's the best place I could be. (And I don't mean a physical place, because I already love Texas A&M!)

What up playa!?!

Been a while since I updated last. I'm sure somebody noticed. Actually, I know at least one person did. All you other sneaky people that noticed too, I know that you noticed. So don't try to pretend you didn't.

On a less weird note, Thanksgiving break went really well. I wasn't very excited about it at first, but it ended up being quite a lot of fun and was relaxing. I spent Wednesday-Friday morning in Houston, so I got to see some of my friends that I hadn't seen in a while. That was really good. Being in Houston made me realize how much I miss Houston...it's my home. I'm really sad that we had to move, but at the same time, I know that there's a reason my home is in the Dallas metroplex now, otherwise God wouldn't have moved us there. I just hope that I get to go to Houston often. Haha, I said Dallas metroplex. Yeah, and it was really good to be home(in my actual house), and to see my dogs and spend time with my family. It was really fun too because my sister and brother in law were at our house practically the whole trip, so we were all hanging out. Because things just aren't as fun at home when you're the only child, ya know? So, luckily, even though my sister got married, she still is home a lot. My sister is awesome. :). But, unfortunately, I think my cat is gone for good. It's really really sad, but my family and I have come to terms with it. We are pretty sure a coyote got her. There are these huge fields right behind our neighbors' fences that coyotes run in and they come in our neighborhood a lot. We are pretty sure that's the only thing that could have happened to her, because they get a lot of cats and she had her tags on, so if someone found her, they would have returned her. At least she lived a pretty long life, and I think it was a pretty good one. We loved her a lot, so that's a good life I think.

This has been a pretty stressful week. Coming back from Thanksgiving break, I realized that school is pretty much over for this semester and finals are starting TOMORROW!! It really stressed me out at first, just thinking about it, but I'm just trying to pace myself and take one thing at a time. I realized that if I don't waste all my time playing playstation and doing other things like that, I can study and still have time to do other fun things. Like enjoying the weather. Today is really nice. I got to walk around outside for a little bit today with my super cool friends Sean and Jessica. I think right now is almost the perfect temperature. Last night I slept so well just knowing that it was freezing outside and it was warm inside my room and I had a nice warm bed. I dunno, that just has some kind of effect on me. Weird, eh?

We did lunges in my running class yesterday. My butt is really sore.

I think tomorrow I'm going to smoke my first cigar. I've had these two cigars I got this summer for a while, and I don't really know how to smoke a cigar, so I've been waiting for someone to smoke them with. But I was in Dallas all summer and I had no friends so I had to wait to get to a&m. Anyway, basically me and my buddy Kurt are going to smoke it up tomorrow at the Cambridge. Haha...I wonder if I'll like it? I think most of the appeal in it is that I'm 18 and I can buy tobacco products and smoke them. It makes me feel old and mature. So, that should be cool.

Alright, I gotta study. I might need to eat too. I can't tell if I'm hungry though...I need to figure that out. Have a good day, or night.